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Judith K. Ivie
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Shared responsibility within the home is the ideal, but it is rarely the reality. While women have made wonderful progress in the workplace, the double standard clearly lives on in our homes. So how is today’s working woman coping?
Share the experiences of dozens of working wives and mothers who have devised practical strategies for coping with the domestic double standard. Instead of being preached at by “experts,” you will be welcomed into a circle of your peers who have stood in your shoes and have invented specific, positive techniques for dealing with multiple roles.
With strength, humor, and a lot of love, these women illustrate by example how they manage—against all odds—to enjoy their complicated, but rewarding lives.
Chapter 1: Great Expectations
The crumbling of the 1960s model of suburban domestic bliss;
the creation of new, equally unworkable relationship models;
open, uncommitted relationships; the 50/50 marriage
Chapter 2: The New Reality
How the new reality is much like the old reality; why “having it all”
usually means “having to do it all”; why the domestic double standard persists; how women tend to perpetuate the double standard
Chapter 3: Planned Parenthood
The importance of early marriage experiences; setting a “we’re-in- this-together” precedent; why parenthood must be a conscious choice; planning a blessed event
Chapter 4: Housework, the Great Equalizer
Why everyone who lives in a house should share the housework; how to schedule housework for maximum benefit; compromising on standards; hiring housework
Chapter 5: Setting the Kids Straight
Playing house in a low-risk setting; it’s all in the communication; gender doesn’t count in housework; learning to live within a budget; you value what you pay for; making choices as a family
Chapter 6: What No One Ever Tells You in Lamaze Class
The reality of a new baby; how motherhood differs from fatherhood; how to handle isolation and fatigue; spacing children; school/parent relations; extracurricular activities
Chapter 7: Hiring and Employer
The penalties for motherhood in the work place; creating your own job; pros and cons of working at home; selecting a job that meets more than your financial needs; taking advantage of available options
Chapter 8: Dealing with Life’s Little Nuisances
Picking your battles; defeating the DDS outside the home; unconventional approaches to conventional domestic problems; friends and other well-meaning nuisances; learning to say “no”; escape hatches
Chapter 9: Tribal Customs
How to make holidays bearable; simplifying birthdays; coping with customs in the extended family
Chapter 10: A Question of Time
Time management for the long and short terms; coping strategies that work
Chapter 11: Redefining Success
New ways of thinking about success; setting new goals as a couple and as a family; creative alternatives to traditional patterns
Chapter 12: Having It All (Revisited)
What “having it all” means today; creating a new definition for the future
Women like me, who began our careers in the late 1960s and are now looking forward to retirement, were encouraged in the first stage of the women’s movement to “have it all”—to combine marital, maternal, and career responsibilities into one manageable, even enjoyable, lifestyle. So how are we women doing thirty-five years later? Well, we’re still working on it.
For the vast majority of today’s working women, from Paula Zahn to Paula Abdul, “having it all” might more accurately be characterized as “having to do it all.” Despite the good intentions of a husband or significant other, it is rare that domestic responsibilities are actually shared equally. With the best will in the world, he pitches in on the home front only when his job allows, while she is expected to do domestic duty whether it’s convenient or not. This is often to the detriment of her career, to which her employer expects her to give the same time, energy and commitment as her less encumbered male counterparts.
Book Publisher: Whiskey Creek Press
No. of Pages: 206
Paper Weight (lb): 9.0