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There's No Such Thing
Jeanette Cottrell
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Have you ever been blamed for something you didn’t do? A Wisky Wasky did it! With a dragon as his sidekick, Jay decides to be NOTICED, once and for all! Unfortunately, there’s a problem with being a Wisky Wasky or a dragon. There’s No Such Thing!

"That wasn’t nice, Gina."

Gina landed on the flat metal roof with a decided thump. "He had it coming."

"But Gina! A whole squeeze bottle of mustard?"

"He pulled my tail!"

"He thought it was a pickle. After all, it was lying there on the counter."

"A pickle?" Gina’s voice rose sharply at the end. "Let’s see, so far people think I’m an alligator, a nothing, a car, and a green blanket." She snorted in disgust.

"But I was the mousetrap," Jay said with a twinkle.

"And talking of being mean, what about that poor squirrel? He probably depends on those snacks the ladies give him. You made him miss lunch!"

"Gina, don’t be a pain. He got his nuts back, and I found a plum for him out of the garbage can. He was perfectly happy when we left, and you know it."

"He was, wasn’t he?" she admitted. A sudden chuckle escaped her. "I wonder what those ladies thought, watching him having a wrestling match with nothing at all." She illustrated, waving her claws around in frantic circles.

Jay smirked, and his grin spread all over his small face. "We were a sight! Must have been!" He jumped on her, and they rolled over together a few times. Gina was laughing too hard to continue the battle, so she gave up, slapping her tail on the roof three times in the traditional signal of surrender. Jay collapsed beside her, lying on his back.



"You’re right. He did have it coming."

"He sure did. Did you see the way he treated the poor guy selling food? Everything was too hot, too cold or too slow, and he was going to complain to the boss. Sheesh! He was really mean."

"He sure was. Wow," said Jay dreamily. "A whole squeeze bottle of mustard."

It had been an adventurous day.

A woman speeding erratically on the freeway while talking excitedly into her cell phone had suddenly pulled over to the side of the road. Calmly, she said goodbye, hung up the phone, opened her car door, and poured her coffee onto the ground. She stared fixedly through Jay and Gina, both sprawled on the hood of her car. She repeated continuously, "Too much caffeine, too much caffeine, too much caffeine…"

A politician had seized a half empty bottle, and poured a brown liquid down the sink. With shaking fingers, he locked the door to his office, pulled over a phone book, and dialed the phone number for the Alcoholics Anonymous Hotline.

And the Right Honorable Justice Renfro was trying to get mustard stains out of his suit coat. His secretary was no help at all. She was too busy nattering on about an acrobatic squirrel she’d seen in the square. Women!

"We still didn’t get anywhere, though. Maybe if we hang out with the lady driver? But I couldn’t find her again. She keeps moving."

"The Gadget said there was that thing you could use to find her. GPS?"

"GPS! I still can’t figure out what it means. You know, I thought for sure if we went around the court house and the state offices where all the important people were, we’d find somebody."

"I guess important people can’t see what’s in front of their noses either."

"Hmm," Jay muttered. "I wonder?"

"What?" Gina said suspiciously.

"Well, one guy thought you were a Japanese car, and a lady thought you were a UFO. Hey, if you were a UFO, we’d get everybody’s attention--especially if they tried to shoot you down! That might work!"

"Why, you little--" she hissed indignantly, her breath rushing out white-hot.

Jay scrambled out of the way. "Gina," he cried, "I was only kidding!"

"Well, I was only kidding when I said I eat fish! I’ve never eaten a Wisky Wasky! Maybe I should try one!"

She snatched at him, but he dodged. Jay threw himself to his knees, hands clasped in front of him. "Gina, please! Wisky Waskies taste terrible! It was a joke!"

"Then it was only a joke when I said I’d help you!"

Jeanette Cottrell teaches computer classes in an Oregon high school. She lives with her husband, two sons, dog, and cat. Herman the pink elephant flies in occasionally as well. Sliding on Rainbows is her second novel.

Fiction Books :: Coming of Age Books

ISBN: 1590888200
ISBN(13-digit): 9781590888209
Copyright: 2008
Book Publisher: Wings ePress
Binding: Perfect
No. of Pages: 164
Paper Weight (lb): 7.2

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