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Desperate House Dad is real life fiction about a man, Paul Logan, who quits his job and decides to be a stay-at-home dad, while his wife, Jenny, continues to work and support their family. During the nine years Paul is a stay-at-home dad, he trudges on to welcome another son, and at times his patience is stretched to the limit. But the unforgettable moments, such as when his son takes his first steps, are what makes the entire stay-at-home dad experience worthwhile and satisfying for him. It also adds slide splitting humor into the decision of buying a mini-van, joining a stay-at-home dadâ€™s club, taking a child to church, grocery shopping, visiting the pediatrician, getting the kidsâ€™ pictures taken, and having a vasectomy. This is a must read for anybody in a significant relationship and especially for those with children!
We make it inside the pharmacy and I just know this is going to be a struggle since my BOT is now bone dry. I walk up to the counter and I notice that there is a sign on one end of the counter that says, "Pick Up,â€ and one at the other end of the counter that says, "Drop Off .â€ I also notice that there is nobody waiting in line, and only one lady working the counter, who happens to be standing by the "Pick Upâ€ sign, so I walk up to her.
"Can I help you, sir?â€ she asks.
"Yes, I have to drop off this prescription for my son,â€ I said as I try to hand her the prescription.
"Sir, this is the Pick Up line, so could you please take that to the Drop Off line please?â€ she asks.
Wow, she is a stickler for the rules, so I move my cart down to the end of the counter near the "Drop Offâ€ sign, and if you can believe it, she walks down to the "Drop Offâ€ sign and asks, "Can I help you sir?â€
I almost lost it, "Youâ€™ve got to be kidding me. We just talked two seconds ago! Have you completely lost conception of reality? What is it, the fact that you sit up higher than everyone in the Pharmacy that you think youâ€™re superior?â€
She doesnâ€™t even blink and eye and says, "Sir, if you are dropping off a prescription, it needs to go here. Pick ups are over there. So can I have the prescription now?â€
I wanted to go off some more, but thought better of it. Rule number one: Never tick off the pharmacist or they will make your life a living hell. So I hand her the prescription and off I go through the store, trying to keep the kids happy.
Since I know weâ€™ll be waiting a while, I decide to take out my cell phone and call Jenny at work to let her know whatâ€™s going on. After Iâ€™d told her about Mikeâ€™s ear infection and the fact that we are at the pharmacy waiting on Mikeâ€™s prescription to get ready, she says, "Since youâ€™re at the pharmacy, can you pick up some condoms? We ran out when we did it last month.â€
"So, you do remember when we did it last month?â€ I say sarcastically.
"Yep, it was the best two minutes of my life,â€ says my wife, now cracking up with laughter.
After her laughter finally subsides and I pick my ego back up off the floor, she asks, "So, youâ€™re going to pick some up, right?â€
I let out a huge sigh because I hate buying condoms, which is why I usually let Jenny buy them. Whenever I buy them I always feel people are staring at me, as if they are saying, "Yeah right. Now what woman in their right mind is going to have sex with you?â€
I try to stall, "Honey, canâ€™t you just pick them up the next time youâ€™re at the grocery?â€
"You need to get over this condom phobia you have, because I am sick of buying them. Do you want another child right now?â€ she asks as I quickly look down to find Steve picking up a Gummy Bear off the pharmacy floor and putting it in his mouth.
"Good point,â€ I said, "but I just donâ€™t feel comfortable buying them.â€
"Well, how do you think I feel?â€ Jenny snaps right back. "Every time I buy them I feel like a hooker.â€
I can tell that Iâ€™m not going to win this argument, so I said, "Okay, Honey, Iâ€™ll pick up a box,â€ as I said goodbye and head for the condom aisle. Besides, itâ€™s the middle of the day, so who am I going to run into?
Unfortunately the condom aisle is right by the pharmacy, so the Pharmacist can look down on me in shame as I try to decide between the thousand different types of condoms available: For Her Pleasure, For His Pleasure, Shared Pleasure, Warm Sensations, etc. Do I really care about her pleasure? I think to myself as I study the various brands. Seems each type comes in regular and jumbo size, so I naturally pick up the jumbo packs. Then I look up because I have a feeling that someone is staring at me, and to my surprise the Pharmacist is staring at me as she shakes her head, as if saying, "I donâ€™t think so.â€
I graduated with from the University of Cincinnati in 1996 and Iâ€™ve been working in Information Technology for the past ten years, first as a consultant who traveled around the country writing and teaching computer software classes, and the past few years as a Senior Analyst with Corning, Inc. My passion has always been writing, so after I turned 30 I vowed to return to my passion, and by the time I hit 31 I had completed my first novel Desperate House Dad. I originally self-published Desperate House Dad, but the response was so overwhelming, and the reviews so great, that I sent it to my fantastic publisher Wings ePress, Inc., and signed a deal immediately.
Iâ€™m also married to my beautiful wife Shannon and I have three little boys, ages 6, 4, and 10 months. They are my true inspiration, so Iâ€™ve dedicated Desperate House Dad to them because of the endless material they give me!
Book Publisher: Wings e Press
No. of Pages: 202
Paper Weight (lb): 8.6
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